Working and Avoidance

Saturday. Sunny and beautiful, after a morning of indecisive fog. I woke up early, planning to be industrious--I would do laundry, get a coffee, call my bro for his birthday, and then Work! Yes, I am working weekends. Or, rather, I am supposed to be working weekends. I have enough work to occupy the entirety of my weekend... and, if I were really to learn the statutes and regulations that I should know to feel competent in this case, I would be pretty busy for the next couple years. It is a struggle getting the small things together, in keeping life organized when you refuse to give up anything you love to do. So, for my weekend, and for life, this is what matters: refusing to give up the things you love because you have work. There will always be work. Work will always be overwhelming. And it will always feel important. It is important; but, it's not all that matters.

This week, I worked a lot. I learned a lot. I wrote a memo that earned a "Nice work!" and I felt, momentarily, very proud of myself. So, Friday, I decided there was no way I was staying in the office until 8pm again. I gathered up treatises and papers and cases and took them all home. Immediately, I felt better. Immediately, I stopped doing work. I spent my night having fondue and wine with a friend and then coming home to paint a terrible painting while listening to Tom Petty and singing along, loudly. (Apologies, Neighbor.) And today, I managed to avoid my work just as happily. A long phone conversation with my brother, laundry, and putting together my photo wall! This afternoon, I'm going into the Mission to organize an art show with a bunch of random creatives--could be either amazing or a total flop. In any case, I think this is a beautiful way to avoid my work, to maintain my sanity. Monday will come, and I will be held accountable for the things I need to do--and, somehow, will manage to get done today, tomorrow (after a half-marathon over GG Bridge!). But for now, I have remembered some of the other things that matter: the faces of the friends and family plastered all over my picture wall are good reminders of everything else outside of the statutes, case law, and bumbling attempts at being a lawyer.